The Force Shall Guide Me

Posted on Mon Aug 31st, 2020 @ 3:41pm by Jedi Knight Satara' Jalran

Mission: Episode 1 - All Roads Lead to Nowhere
Location: Nawar'aven - Pantoran System Asteroid Belt

In... and out... in... and out... breath...

Satara repeated the calming mantra to herself as she meditated in the Nawar'aven's Salon Pod, or tried to anyway. Even with the blast shields lowered, the expanse of space stretched out before her Satara couldn't concentrate. Her thoughts wandered, thoughts of all that had happened since this morning kept her from clearing her mind. Letting out a frustrated sigh, her fists clenched, stretching out with her feelings she could barely see past the swirl of emotions surrounding her. If she concentrated enough Satara could actually see the winds in the pod, plants, and papers whipping around her as she sat. Yet she couldn't just... she couldn't get there.

The battle on the ice moon dominated her thoughts. Not the usual post-fight analysis she'd learned in the order, the step by step evaluation of footwork, placing, when she slashed or thrust and when she parried. Even that normally calming exercise was lost to her when she thought about the fight she felt the emotion of the moment more than anything. Especially the betrayal of the Clones, it wasn't the first time she'd felt this... or the first hardship she'd faced. But again she hadn't seen the danger, she'd trusted the Clones enough that she'd almost been killed. Just like with Dooku and... back home...

She kept doing this... kept trusting the wrong people, not seeing what was beneath the surface. Maybe the Council was right, maybe she wasn't a good Watchman. What was she even doing now? Where could she even go, she' had to cut off access to the Republic battlenet just to keep from being tracked, she suspected that Clone Forces were already searching the Ice Plaines. They might only have hours to escape the system if that... But she couldn't just go off blindly, they could easily stumble into a blockade or picket of Republic ships.

But where could they go!? Where could she blend in, and where could they find a Doctor to examine Buzz? AZI was doing a good job healing his injuries, but there was something more, an imbalance. The last time they'd awakened the Clone, he'd started stumbling around the medical bay. He'd been confused, yelling about his orders, interpreting instructions, he'd been in pain. He'd nearly had a stroke according to AZI, but even with his advanced medical diagnostics, the droid couldn't figure out why. If only she could get to the Temple, Doctor Nema would surely know what to do... if, if she were even alive. She couldn't feel anyone right now.

Satara dare not open herself up to the Force in that way again, not after... not after what happened in Kuruk's village. She'd never felt so much pain, so much fear, and hate and agony. She barely remembered it all, flashes of death surprise... betrayal. Masters, Knights... younglings too, all crying out in fear... in defiance. Satara had screamed as she sensation overwhelmed her, collapsing to the floor of the hut. She woke later inside the Salon Pod, still wrapped in Kuruk's warm embrace. It took almost a full day for her to recover she hadn't opened herself back up since then. Even with Kuruk's encouragement, she'd been too afraid, it was too much last time, what if... what if she didn't come back from it this time?

The young Twi'lek sighed, it was the same internal argument she'd been having for the last hour. Getting up from her meditative position Satara exited the Pod, wandering through the very empty ship. It was so different than before, there was life aboard the ship before the Clones very quickly making the ship their home. The Gri'kii going through battle plans in the galley, drifter cooking something for the team... Buzz playing some kind of music or new media he'd discovered, Kuruk and Boar wresting in the cargo bay.

Kuruk, she hadn't had much of a chance to thank him, ask him how he was doing, and more importantly... why he decided to stay with her. He could have just gone home, back to his people. Instead, he stayed, continued on as her bodyguard. Could she even thank him enough for that sacrifice?

Deciding she had to try, Satara headed up the command deck, quickly spying the large Talz in the pilot seat Naga sat beside him. Calling out Satara barely had time to greet the pair before Kuruk was up, bounding over, buzzing excitedly as he pointed at the Communications Station and a message waiting.

"Al-alright Kuruk, calm down I'll look." Satara grinned as she slid into the seat. It was a short message, coordinates, meeting time, and a supposedly safe hyperspace route. She'd never heard of this station... Port Nowhere before. but it seemed to be far from the Republic's sphere of influence so it should be safe. But could they trust it? Naga seemed to think so, said she couldn't find any Republic signal traces in the code and Kuruk pointed out that they had few other options.

He was right of course, they both were. But Satara needed more than that, more than just assurances, she needed confirmation. With a resigned sigh, Satara closed her eyes, emptying her mind of doubt, of confusion... She had purpose, she let the Force flow through her guide her hand...

Satara let out a grimace, the pain of the purge coming to try and grasp her, like tendrils around her limbs they tried to drag her down. This time she would not be deterred, this time she had the steady presence of Kuruk's heavy hand upon her shoulder. She pushed past the pain, past the fear...

I am a Jedi....
"I’m one with the Force, and the Force shall guide me.”